Hunting

“I quit smoking one month ago,” I would be writing had I actually not smoked in the past month. Maybe next month with a bit more willpower and less submission to temptation it will be a reality.

I’ve begun my infamous idle-cycle. Instead of books there is television, poetry revision is replaced with cigarettes and job searching has merely become an exercise in focusing on what a terrible person I am. Ideally, I want to be good to myself and live life in accordance with my priorities.

I must be honest about what joblessness does to my self-concept: makes it ugly. I’d like to have some fun. Fun saves all. Must allow and savor fun—but not as a guest at the lustful, gluttonous and drunk  party that has become my life of late. Moderation is key. In all of this.